Good Morning :)

I have finally applied for my diploma (who would have thought after graduating I would have to apply and pay $150) and I am registered to take the professional knowledge state test Feb 10. Pray for me, send positive vibes, whatever you do I need all the positivity I can get! I have the study guide and they recommend studying two hours a day. That is totally do able. I love teaching I really do but I can’t help that I have other thoughts swarming my head. What thoughts you ask? Thoughts of giving young children holistic teaching and learning so they have a solid foundation when they enter kindergarten. I have been in the preschool environment for 14 years so maybe it is habit? But I have always wanted to have a house with a decent amount of land so I can have an addition on my house or a preschool, a garden, small farm, and a wonderful place for the children to play. I am very eclectic in my teaching philosophies. I love the different theories because they can work together and provide the best environment for a child to learn and grow. I have always loved Howard Gardner and Abraham Maslow’s theories. I think our education system needs to take a step back and see what we have done to the classrooms and see where we can change it for the better.

The things learned in preschool/prek will help a child when they are in elementary school. For example, if a teacher has a sorting activity it helps the child learn how to classify objects. That is something that is needed as they are in school. I hear a lot of teacher say how the fine motor skills in their students are very poor. In preschool the children should be doing many activities that strengthen the fine motor skills. The reason I want a preschool addition on my house is because it creates a homey feel, the land is important for the children to learn, explore, and discover. They need to be out in nature! If there are animals around they can learn so much (they would not be allowed by them without supervision). Think of all the great things they would learn by planting food and flower gardens! Then to take the food and make yummy food with it or make beautiful flowers arrangements in the school.

This is my struggle. I am not financially ready to take on such endeavors but I’ve had that dream in my head and heart for a long time.

I joined Forks Over Knives meal planner and I am so happy I did because it really helps me. I made a menu for the whole month for myself and the rest of the family. I found a recipe on quinoa enchilada casserole OMG ya’ll it was so good!! I over course add to it because I just like to put more flavor in my food but it made a lot of food for me. I had it for lunch the next day and I still have plenty. I am hoping my family will come on board with this healthy lifestyle.


Merry Christmas

I am officially finished with school!!! I am done with classes, student teaching, and all that fun stuff, I have graduated. I am so proud of myself. Five years ago I decided to go to school and get my degree. It was a goal that challenged me and stretched me to my capacity at times but I did it!!! When I was doing my student teaching I struggled a bit with matching the standards and learning goal. I see all these cute writing activities on Pinterest but I had to really think about what is the learning goal and does it match the standards. My mentor teacher and field supervisor wanted me to do more lesson planning so I could get the practice in. There was one lesson that I was struggling with the anticipatory set. Have you ever been so tired and stressed that something so simple escapes your mind? That was me. I had asked my mentor teacher for some help and instead of being supportive and helpful like she said she would be, she tells me I will have to struggle through it. I laughed and told her I was so tired and stressed it was taking me longer to “get it”. She said we all get stressed and I cut her off. I am 46 years old with 3 children, 2 marriages under my belt (the second much better but still), sicknesses, mental illness, suicide attempts, etc I have struggled through plenty!!! What I do need is that mentor that is supportive and gives tips on what worked for her when she was struggling. She then asked me what would I do if she wasn’t there? I told her honestly I would ask my other teacher friend. I learn better by talking things out, shown and told examples, and seeing it done.

That was disappointing. I understand this was her first time mentoring a student teacher and I asked her would she say such a thing to a student if they weren’t understanding something? If she does then that is terrible because that is not how it should be done!

We did get through it and it was awesome that we both learned new things from each other. I have been in preschool for 14 years so I did bring some good ideas to the classroom. Just because someone has been teaching for a long time doesn’t mean something can’t inspire you to try new things. When my mentor and I talked about the class and how we could help certain students it was so much fun because we love the kids. The principal wants my resume so I have to get that updated.

A few days before I was done with student teaching my stomach was cramping, bloating, and just feeling awful. Each day everything got worse. On my last day of ST (student teaching) I went to the urgent care. They noticed I had sugar in my urine and then tested my blood sugars 196….holy shit! So they send me to the ER because I need imaging done. I get to the ER and they take blood, do a CT scan on me. I have diverticulitis and my sugars went up to 208. WHAAAAAT? I hadn’t eaten since 12:15 and it was 6:00. They put me on cipro and flagyl. What is going on with me I have never been so sick in my life. Two days after I was on the meds I started with a fever and feeling like death. The next day I vomited so I stopped the meds. I started doing better each day I was off and then bam…..ladies you know what can happen when on high doses of antibiotics…..So probiotics, juices, essential oils, and hot showers.

This was not how I planned to spend my 2 weeks off. However, I am very thankful that this happened now then even two weeks ago because it would have messed up my ST. For the past 3 days I have been getting my house cleaned, organized, and trying to put pictures up. It’s sad that we’ve been in the house over a year and I don’t have pictures up! I have made it my mission to get pictures up, curtains, rugs, and make my home feel homey! The hubby and I purchased a few rugs so it isn’t so cold on feet and paws. I need to see how I can incorporate some healing color in the house!

I am also planning on going to this place that has infrared saunas that I can do some sessions and get my body detoxing. I figured I would take January to get my body cleansed and study for my state test. Juices, smoothies, healthy meals, walking in nature, sitting in the sun, drinking waters and teas, and meditation.

My girls are out of state visiting their dad’s side of the family. I am so happy my youngest daughter is finally talking to her dad again. When she got to her dad’s she started texting me about her anxiety. She doesn’t have any medication and I forgot to give her the essential oils I have blended for her. Her sleep patterns have been really off and I figured it was because she was thinking about her little vacation. I’m happy her sister is with her but she too lately has been in a depression. The oldest has always dealt with depression but she won’t go to therapy. It is so hard to have children that deal with mental illness! When things have been crazy at the house with work and school I had to rely on my husband and son for help. The girls could have helped but instead they stayed in their bedrooms. It’s one thing to deal with depression but it’s another thing to have a shitty attitude that you don’t want to help your own mother when she needs it! Especially being  a grown adult living at home for free and being supported. The oldest just started the vet tech program. She graduated from the assistant program and was off for 6 weeks. She hasn’t worked since August and throws a fit if she is asked to help clean the kitchen.

Has anyone watched the documentary 32Pills? OMG that was such a touching movie! It hit home in so many ways. When the therapist told Hope that a person with borderline never feels fulfilled and that they spend a lifetime trying to get fulfilled that broke my heart because I now this is true for my youngest daughter. The therapist also mentioned medication alone doesn’t help bpd, going to therapy is important. I am hoping YD (youngest daughter) will keep her appointment for this new therapist. She can get better but she has to go in order for that to happen.

Merry Christmas and I hope you are blessed today!!



I was listening to the Black Eyed Peas redone Where is the Love. There is a part in there that DJ Khaled says Love is the Key, Love is the Answer, Love is the Solution, Love is Powerful. Yes it is!! How do we get more of it, show more of it, give more of it? It starts with each of us. I was shown a video about Quincy Blakely and I was shocked, outraged, and angry that this man has been treated in such a manner. It is easy to say he should have just listened to the police officer but watching that video I was confused as to what the right thing to do was because that officer was out of line and wrong. We need changes in the world!! Why is this man still in jail? There is no way he should be, it seems to me they are punishing him for not listening to the officer. The verdict about Philando Castile shocked me but his mom was given money. I guess that is suppose to make it ok but the officer walks free? It is situations like this that make me wonder how can we infuse more love into the world? How can we get to a better place? Look at all the terrorist attacks, how do we overcome that? I hate war, yet don’t we have to protect our own country or is this what we have been taught to think?

We need more love in our schools, in our barns, in our homes. Animals need to be treated better also. I am a huge fan of the Gentle Barn, they have rescue barns in California, Tennessee, and Missouri. They have been a big reason why I have decided to not eat meat or use dairy. When you really see how these animals are treated how can we not care? How can this be ok?

More prayer, more positive energy, more action, more visualizing is a few ways to start.

I was talking with my assistant today about our classroom. We have 4-5 years olds and it is easy to have expectations that are too high. At that age they still need to be taught what their emotions are and how to handle them. Our conversation was really good and positive. We both agreed we want to set the tone in the classroom to be calm and encouraging. I had one little boy today that was mad he didn’t get his way so he through a fit. I asked him if throwing a fit is going to make it better? He said no. I asked him to please take a few deep breaths and calm down so we could talk. He immediately took some breaths and I asked him what was wrong that he through a fit. He was mad a friend took his spot in line. He found some garbage on the floor and wanted to throw it away. I told him that was very kind of him to make sure our classroom was clean. I turned to the friend and explained to her why he left the line and would she please let him have his place in line again? She said yes. I turned to the little boy and told him when he went back to the line that is what he needed to say to his friend. I explained that when he threw the fit his friend didn’t know what he was saying or why, that is why it is important to be calm. If I would have just told him to stop throwing a fit and get to the back of the line I would have missed a great opportunity to teach him how to handle his frustration and how to problem solve the situation. I always tell my class they can come to myself or the other teacher for help. I swear to you, how we react and how we talk it all contributes to how our classroom is going to respond. My assistant and I want to infuse even more love in our room.

I was told by a parent today that she and her husband have separated. I immediately know what to do. I have been through this with my biological parents as well as many classroom children. I told mom I would make sure her daughter got extra hugs and love. I am told by at least 8 children everyday multiple times a day “I love you Ms. D”. I always tell them I love them too. When my assistant first started in my classroom she was so happy to see how the children were and I quickly responded with love. She said I have my rules and am quick to correct the not so good behavior but it is with love always. So we continue to teach and guide so that way these children can become adults with love, problem solving skills, good vocabulary, and how to work as a team.

When I think of my class I have hope for the future.

Lets’ be better friends, let’s put more love in the world!!!













Glad to see 2016 go

Is it just me or are others glad to see 2016 go? It was a hard year for celebrities especially in the music industry. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate everything good that has happened this year. My #2 daughter is doing good. Not going to therapy but still doing much better than last year, we bought a house, and my oldest daughter is living in the same state. I am closer than ever to having my degree, I only have three classes yet. Let me tell you I am SO ready to be finished. I met some awesome teachers that allowed me to observe in their classrooms and they both would love for me to student teach in their room. Not sure if I mentioned that my boss had to close down the preschool because of her daughter going through major mental illness. She wanted me to buy it but I didn’t feel I could put anymore on my plate. I worked at a different preschool but it was a daycare also and it is a totally different ballgame. For some reason I never fully felt at home there and then certain issues started to creep up. I made the decision to look elsewhere and immediately found new employment. This boss is really nice but recently bought the preschool and has no prior knowledge of early childhood (slaps my forehead). There have been times she asks me why I do certain things and I tell her because it is state requirements.

My cat Monster scared me so badly the other day I thought I was going to go into a panic attack. Monster is 17 years old and has hyperthyroid. I have noticed my love bug has become a crazy cat when he is around food. I was cutting up beef stew meat the other day and he kept jumping on the counter trying to get a piece. Uh no! Cats don’t need to be on my counter with food around ewww! He finally left me alone and I walked away from the counter for a minute to go by the table. I remembered I had the meat up there and didn’t trust Monster so I quickly looked and he was on the floor but it looked like he was swallowing something. I scolded him (he ran into my bedroom) and told my husband I think he had a piece of meat and is having a hard time swallowing it, so he went into our bedroom to check on Monster. My husband yells for me to come in their quick so I do. When I get into the bedroom I see my husband on the floor by Monster who is laying on his side, tongue hanging out, frothing, and gasping. I didn’t realize I pretty much through my husband out of the way and started massaging Monster’s chest and belly. I yelled for someone to call a vet and another person to google how to do the heimlich maneuver on a cat. Then I screamed for someone to get off their ass we have 5 damn cell phones in the house. Monster’s legs started stiffening up and I brought his face up and gently blew into his nose. I noticed the meat was out of his throat so I picked him up and brought him to my chest like when you are burping a baby. I  gave him another gentle blow in his nose and he started breathing and acting like Monster. I don’t know if he passed out or what but I was balling like a baby, telling him he is not leaving me like this, he better start breathing now! Our vet is like 45 minutes away and told us to go the ER animal hospital and I was like no way too far. She mentioned another place closer to our house and at this time we hung up the phone, put Monster in his carrier, and started driving. The lady answers and we explain the situation and she tells us to please hold. She comes back on and says that they have already seen three emergencies and aren’t seeing anymore. WHAT?!?!? Are you freaking kidding me? She started babbling about something else but I just hung up on her I was livid and I had to hang up before I freaked the hell out on her. My hubby googled other vets closer and we called one. They had us come in immediately. Monster was taken back to a room so they could examine him right away. They took our information and then put us in a room. The doctor came in and said everything looks great, his lungs sound clear, his vitals are on point. He warned us the next 48-72 hours are critical because if Monster developed a cough it could be asphyxia pneumonia.  We talked about Monster’s thyroid issues and him not tolerating his medicine so we are trying out a herbal extract for cats who are hyperthyroid. The dr asked me to let him know how Monster does on it because he would be interested in helping others that don’t do well on the regular medication.

I was so relieved and exhausted at the same time. That was the worst feeling I have ever felt in a very long time. The thought of losing my baby to him choking was beyond what my heart could take. My adrenals kicked in and dumped all kinds of cortisol in my system. I didn’t not sleep well that night, so I made sure to take a supplement called Adrenal Success. I also have been eating too much sugar and need to get back on the very limited sugar bandwagon. I notice I feel icky when I have sugar and then my muscles and joints are achy so why bother doing that to myself.

On a happier note, my son turned 17 today. How did that happen? I blinked and he grew up. My mom had to go back to Illinois Christmas day so she could visit my uncle. He was told a week ago he has stage four lung and bone cancer, he only has 2-6 months to live. I guess the number 7 rib is gone…eaten up by cancer. This is totally heartbreaking! I remember when  I was a little girl I was scared of his mustache and he thought it was hilarious. He is the nicest man who would give you the shirt off his back, oh let’s not forget his humor…..have mercy I have laughed many times. I was FaceTiming my mom this morning and she was saying how my uncle’s ex-wife was at the gathering yesterday. Mom said she caught the ex looking at my uncle so lovingly and it was sweet and broke her heart. I asked why? Mom said she’s known she since was 8 years old those two were meant to be but something got in the way. OMG talk about tugging at the heartstrings!! Ma, you’re killing me over here.

See why I want a new year and for it to be better? I know its life and we have to do the best we can. There is so much to look forward to in 2017 I hope I can make it a great one!

I better get off of here so I can let the cramps in my hands go away and get the burnt ends out of the smoker. Have a great night friends and be blessed!





Craziness of what is my life

I am officially fried! In the last two months I have packed my house up, loaded up a truck, drove 1900 miles, unloaded truck, unpacked, started a new job, etc etc etc. It feels so good to be in warm weather. My bones are loving it, I literally feel them saying ahhhhhhh every time I go outside. Don’t get me wrong I hate being sweaty so I feel like I have to take four showers a day but I refuse to complain! I am surrounded by mountains, especially my favorite one (Red Mountain). My son is adapting well to his new school, my job kicks ass, my husband is happy with his new job. My daughter decided to pull a fast one and move back to where we just moved from. She likes to say often that she is an adult then it is high time she behave like one! My baby in all honesty needs to still have the support of her family, she needs counseling especially to deal with the depression. What if she gets suicidal again? I’m not there to help her so I worry. I can’t spend my time worrying so I pray and keep my thoughts positive about her. Having children that deal with depression is so hard. I do my best to encourage them and educate them on ways they can help themselves, do they listen? NOOOOOOOOO they always seem to have to do things the hard way. So I let them and just wait until I get the phone call with them crying and do what I do best; listen.

Full moons and children do not mix!! It makes the little darlings crazy and non listening!! Today was rough at work so my brain is fried, yet I still had to do my school work. Oh speaking of school I officially have 10 classes left. I can’t wait to be done with it and begin my career…..hahaha I don’t even know exactly what I want to do. Do I want to teach? Do I want to own my own preschool? Do I want to train/mentor teachers? Until I get clarity I will continue to be open to whatever I am meant to do. I will figure it out I always do. Back to work. I am having a classroom that is more challenging that I have ever had in my 12 years of doing this. So I sit back and wonder what can I change to make it better. One of my students was observed today and I asked the observer if she would be able to meet with me next week and discuss some changes I could do. I am not too proud to ask for help after all I want to meet the needs of my students to the best of my ability and that means me changing what is not working. I like to think I have a creative mind that usually can whip a classroom into shape (I do, have done it, and will do it again). They say challenges come to make you stronger… I am waiting to gain that strength 🙂

I could go on and on but honestly I am so tired I need to lay down and watch some mindless tv. ta ta for now.