Calm yourself girl!

Two weeks ago I was having major issues with my Internet because my provider decided to do an upgrade. It would have been nice to have a warning. I was not able to get online for three days and that was three days I was not able to go online to my class. I was ticked my instructor would do give me any forgiveness about the situation. We continued to have issues with the internet and the customer service rep said we should have been fine so he sent someone out here. When the tech came out he said everything was fine we just needed to do……..something….I forgot lol. So my husband continues to try things and made another phone call. We were able to get my computer connected to the modem and I wasn’t have the same issues any longer. I was so irritated and then I logged on to my class and the reply my instructor gave to a question I had was written in a way that made me fuming. I was about to throw the biggest temper tantrum ever!!! I stopped for a second and realized in my initial message I forgot to ask another question that would have made the reply different. So I took a deep breath and got out of my feelings. I explained to my instructor the other question I forgot and I was in such a rush to get the message sent off because of the way the internet kept erring out on me I did it too fast.

It was a good reminder to remain calm because my reaction can make or break a situation. On a better note I have two more assignments to do and I will be done with this class and then I start student teaching! I will be graduating in two months and I am so proud of myself!! I did it!! I have worked my ass off!

My sister L was diagnosed a month ago with lung cancer. At first the doctor sounded optimistic saying she was at stage one or two. When she had a PET scan done the doctors tone changed because the tumor is in a dangerous area between the right lung and the heart. They are going to do chemo for five days a week and then radiation for one day (I think that’s right). I wondered if the stage changed after the scan but I don’t want to ask, I want my sister to remain calm and as positive as possible. We have been talking about eating healthier, smoothies, and juicing. Today she tells me she is not sure she will be able to juice because it might interfere with her chemo. I have heard of so many people having positive results with taking supplements, juicing, and changing their diets. Is it true? I know a person has to be careful about supplements but I have doubts about doctors many times because many don’t know about alternative treatments that work and can work with modern medicine. I don’t know I just want my sister to be okay.

 

 

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Glad to see 2016 go

Is it just me or are others glad to see 2016 go? It was a hard year for celebrities especially in the music industry. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate everything good that has happened this year. My #2 daughter is doing good. Not going to therapy but still doing much better than last year, we bought a house, and my oldest daughter is living in the same state. I am closer than ever to having my degree, I only have three classes yet. Let me tell you I am SO ready to be finished. I met some awesome teachers that allowed me to observe in their classrooms and they both would love for me to student teach in their room. Not sure if I mentioned that my boss had to close down the preschool because of her daughter going through major mental illness. She wanted me to buy it but I didn’t feel I could put anymore on my plate. I worked at a different preschool but it was a daycare also and it is a totally different ballgame. For some reason I never fully felt at home there and then certain issues started to creep up. I made the decision to look elsewhere and immediately found new employment. This boss is really nice but recently bought the preschool and has no prior knowledge of early childhood (slaps my forehead). There have been times she asks me why I do certain things and I tell her because it is state requirements.

My cat Monster scared me so badly the other day I thought I was going to go into a panic attack. Monster is 17 years old and has hyperthyroid. I have noticed my love bug has become a crazy cat when he is around food. I was cutting up beef stew meat the other day and he kept jumping on the counter trying to get a piece. Uh no! Cats don’t need to be on my counter with food around ewww! He finally left me alone and I walked away from the counter for a minute to go by the table. I remembered I had the meat up there and didn’t trust Monster so I quickly looked and he was on the floor but it looked like he was swallowing something. I scolded him (he ran into my bedroom) and told my husband I think he had a piece of meat and is having a hard time swallowing it, so he went into our bedroom to check on Monster. My husband yells for me to come in their quick so I do. When I get into the bedroom I see my husband on the floor by Monster who is laying on his side, tongue hanging out, frothing, and gasping. I didn’t realize I pretty much through my husband out of the way and started massaging Monster’s chest and belly. I yelled for someone to call a vet and another person to google how to do the heimlich maneuver on a cat. Then I screamed for someone to get off their ass we have 5 damn cell phones in the house. Monster’s legs started stiffening up and I brought his face up and gently blew into his nose. I noticed the meat was out of his throat so I picked him up and brought him to my chest like when you are burping a baby. I  gave him another gentle blow in his nose and he started breathing and acting like Monster. I don’t know if he passed out or what but I was balling like a baby, telling him he is not leaving me like this, he better start breathing now! Our vet is like 45 minutes away and told us to go the ER animal hospital and I was like no way too far. She mentioned another place closer to our house and at this time we hung up the phone, put Monster in his carrier, and started driving. The lady answers and we explain the situation and she tells us to please hold. She comes back on and says that they have already seen three emergencies and aren’t seeing anymore. WHAT?!?!? Are you freaking kidding me? She started babbling about something else but I just hung up on her I was livid and I had to hang up before I freaked the hell out on her. My hubby googled other vets closer and we called one. They had us come in immediately. Monster was taken back to a room so they could examine him right away. They took our information and then put us in a room. The doctor came in and said everything looks great, his lungs sound clear, his vitals are on point. He warned us the next 48-72 hours are critical because if Monster developed a cough it could be asphyxia pneumonia.  We talked about Monster’s thyroid issues and him not tolerating his medicine so we are trying out a herbal extract for cats who are hyperthyroid. The dr asked me to let him know how Monster does on it because he would be interested in helping others that don’t do well on the regular medication.

I was so relieved and exhausted at the same time. That was the worst feeling I have ever felt in a very long time. The thought of losing my baby to him choking was beyond what my heart could take. My adrenals kicked in and dumped all kinds of cortisol in my system. I didn’t not sleep well that night, so I made sure to take a supplement called Adrenal Success. I also have been eating too much sugar and need to get back on the very limited sugar bandwagon. I notice I feel icky when I have sugar and then my muscles and joints are achy so why bother doing that to myself.

On a happier note, my son turned 17 today. How did that happen? I blinked and he grew up. My mom had to go back to Illinois Christmas day so she could visit my uncle. He was told a week ago he has stage four lung and bone cancer, he only has 2-6 months to live. I guess the number 7 rib is gone…eaten up by cancer. This is totally heartbreaking! I remember when  I was a little girl I was scared of his mustache and he thought it was hilarious. He is the nicest man who would give you the shirt off his back, oh let’s not forget his humor…..have mercy I have laughed many times. I was FaceTiming my mom this morning and she was saying how my uncle’s ex-wife was at the gathering yesterday. Mom said she caught the ex looking at my uncle so lovingly and it was sweet and broke her heart. I asked why? Mom said she’s known she since was 8 years old those two were meant to be but something got in the way. OMG talk about tugging at the heartstrings!! Ma, you’re killing me over here.

See why I want a new year and for it to be better? I know its life and we have to do the best we can. There is so much to look forward to in 2017 I hope I can make it a great one!

I better get off of here so I can let the cramps in my hands go away and get the burnt ends out of the smoker. Have a great night friends and be blessed!

 

 

 

 

Can I vent a little?

I was with my daughter at one of her appointments and she was asked if she knows who she is. I kept quiet and looked at my baby and she was blank. I wanted to know why the Dr. asked the question. Some people at 19 years old don’t know who they are and add in someone who has borderline personality disorder she REALLY doesn’t know who she is. I was a bit miffed because I felt that question made my daughter feel even worse about herself. The Dr. did tell her that there is hope, that there is so much for her to stay alive for, and that she was in good hands. Ok, all is forgiven I am no longer miffed.

I am frustrated because the process to getting my daughter on a treatment plan has been slow. I understand she is not the only person in the state that needs help, I know they are doing the best they can. I am frustrated and overwhelmed at home with BPD and depression. I hear Sam Cooke’s song A Change Is Gonna Come over and over in my head and I have to believe it to be true. I do a lot of listening to my daughter…..that’s if she talks. I ask her how can I help her. Is that a dumb question? She doesn’t even know how to help herself. She stays up all night and sleeps until I get home from work in the early afternoon. I try to make her juices that will help her body, does she drink them? Nooooo, why drink something that can help detox, heal, and nourish her body? I ask her to go for walks with me….no, I ask her to come to work with me…no, I ask I ask I ask and am told no. There are times I ask a question and I get my head bit off. Oh she is so lucky I don’t paddle her behind (kidding).

So then I got to thinking about the Dr’s question, life is about learning who we are all the time, that never changes. Who I am and was has changed quite a bit over the past 40 years. I would like to think that I have gotten better with age and experience. I love how sometimes we have questions about why certain situations happened to us and when we finally figure out why we have a much better understanding. That is why I trust God to help me through these times and I wait to figure out these answers. So far I have been fortunate to find life’s answers to my questions. This part of my life I am struggling quite a bit.

I feel like I have to be strong for my family and there are moments I’m tired. I feel like I need a vacation to Sedona!! I burned sage and prayed in my daughter’s room yesterday. Funny thing, like a half hour later, she cleaned it really well :).

On a positive note, I found out I got a $.50 raise!! My boss told me how much she appreciates everything I do. I love her! She is going through something very similar with her daughter and sister. We try to help each other deal with the mental illness of our loved ones and do our best. It is nice to have someone who understands me.

Thank you for listening (reading) my vent. I feel better already!! Be Blessed

Until Next Time

La Bella Figura

My current class is about English Language Learners. This weeks assignment I had to pick a culture, say why I picked it, and make a PowerPoint about the language, education, socialization, food, religion, dress, parenting, and a few other things. So I of course picked Italian. I had so much fun finding information online and comparing it to my own family. I came across La Bella Figura and wanted to know what it meant. The Italian philosophy of La Bella Figura essentially boils down to always putting your best foot forward, not only physically but in every way you present yourself to the world. From talking to my Polish friend they have that same philosophy also. I look around and see so many have stopped doing that in the United States. It seems we are lowering our standards on how well we keep ourselves and our surroundings. I find myself fighting all the time with my son about hygiene, having matching clothes, taking care of his belongings. I try to tell him the way he takes care of himself is his business card on how others are going to treat him. And yet its a catch 22 because I also want to make sure my children don’t listen to negative judgements. I remember growing up my friend’s parents telling them they couldn’t do anything until their chores were done, they had to shower, and they had to take care of the house as well as the belongings in it. It set the path to taking care of oneself and having pride in it. So I was explaining to my daughters what La Bella Figura is…..an attempt to create a life by looking and acting their best in every situation while savoring the simple pleasures in life. So then I wondered what do I consider the simple pleasures in life? Family, my cats, food, friendships, good conversations, books, music, chic flicks, being in nature, etc. Seems quite lovely to me. My youngest daughter asked me what if she doesn’t feel like putting her best foot forward for a day? I thought about it for a minute and told her taking a shower and putting her hair in a bun works well for that! There is nothing wrong with taking a day off from everything but don’t let it become a habit to where her home gets cluttered and dirty.

To add to my journey to create La Bella Figura in my life, I went to a new Dr. yesterday to get established as a patient and to explore my stomach issues. I got on the scale dreading it and when the numbers came up they were in kilograms….Uh what is that in my terms? So the nurse tells me and I was like ugh ok and then it hit me Oh hell yes!!! I lost 5 pounds!!! I haven’t been trying but I am so happy.

It is time for me to get some errands done before it gets too late. I still have to make sure my lesson plans for the week are finished so I better get off of here. Have a wonderful day people!

Addio per ora

My home is a comedy club!

Holy humidity! Going outside is not fun. My air conditioning in my car is not working, so driving my son to Jiu Jitsu is going to be hot. Dinner last night was totally yum! I made picadillo. I have frozen sofrito so I pulled out enough to equal 1/4 cup. I chopped up a quarter of a yellow bell pepper, and a small carrot. They were added to the turkey meat as I was browning it. I am trying to add more vegetables to my meals so I decided to get some frozen chopped spinach and throw in about 3 tablespoons. I love the tanginess green olives give the meat, but my husband and son complain when I chop them up. To be kind I left the olives whole. Do you know they still complained??? Hello not having them in there makes a difference in the flavor, pick the darn things out and hush! Seriously, why do they have to mess with my cooking? I have been Pepsi free since the very beginning of May so now I am going to try to stop drinking coffee. My youngest daughter doesn’t think I will do it. She says I love the taste too much. Yes that is true and I only have 1 cup a day, however, I want to keep the acid in my body as low as possible and for other health reasons.

I have a week off from school, I have to get the financial stuff fixed before I can start the next two classes. I have to say I am not too sad about this. I think having a week off will give me a bit of a breather. My grand niece is three weeks old today, she is beautiful!! She reminds me so much of her mama. It seems like yesterday I was helping my sister take care of her. I told my oldest she needs to step it up my grandma clock is ticking!!! She thinks I’m crazy, she’s right but that’s not the point. In fact I had to tell her it’s time to take control of her life and live it, not go through the motions. She should be having all kinds of fun discovering herself and spreading her wings. At least she has a boyfriend, they have been together for 4 1/2 months. It won’t surprise me if they end up married. Do you ever get a feeling about a couple? I get that about them. You see, my daughter has been her own worst enemy. She has kept herself bottled up in a shell and because of it she has missed out on a lot of fun things in life. Oh and it has messed with her self esteem. My daughter is a HUGE over thinker!! I tell you what, I love her so very much, but there are times I bust out laughing when she is on her spazz mode. My youngest daughter now understands what I have gone through, she told me the other day, “Mom, I’m about to smack D, did you drop her on her head?” LOL no I did not drop her on her head, she was a preemie and there was a possibility she had a seizure when she was 2 weeks old so they put her on Phenobarbital for like 5 months. I think it stunted her emotional growth!!! I promise you, I have my own comedy club right here in my home. Anyway, so yes I think my daughter and her bf are good for each other. It’s kinda funny that her bf has dyslexia just like my son and she understands her brother much better now. I am also seeing the shell slowly peeling away, when her boyfriend is being a brat, my daughter’s feistiness is coming out. Poor dude doesn’t know what he’s getting into because she at times sounds just like me LOL.

I think I need to read Kristen Ashley’s new book, heck I don’t even remember the name of it. I try to take time to read something other than psychology or continuing education for my preschool certification, but that doesn’t always work. Or I am catching up on my continuing education for preschool.

I have been using just plain ol coconut oil on my skin after a shower. My skin is feeling softer!! Added bonus is coconut oil protects the skin from the sun. I have been out in the sun a lot so this is a good thing.

Time to go do something productive. Be Blessed 🙂

way too long

Holy moly has it really been since March since I have been on here? Tsk tsk tsk. I actually think about jumping on here everyday and then something comes up and I forget. There has been so many awesome things happening around my household. My energy is doing so much better! That right there is such a blessing and something I wake up every morning saying thank you to God for!!! I also tell my body how sorry I am for the mistreatment it had to endure for way too many years. However, I have learned a ton of information about food, nutrition, and health. My dr told me a year in a half ago to start taking an iodine supplement. I kid you not, the results were immediate for me. Now I still have days where I over did it so I am drained the next day but my energy  level is so much better. If you see the supplements I take its around like 10 of them. The last dr visit showed for the first time ever my meds need to be lowered. That has never happened before!!! I also started taken L-Tyrosine like 8 months ago and I found out, if you are taking thyroid meds to consult your dr because the tyrosine can help your thyroid produce more t4 therefore possibly causing one to go hyperthyroid. AHA! I bet that is why. So I have cut back to taking it two times a day instead of three.

There is a Facebook page called “Thyroid Sexy” check it out I love it!. OMG, guess what? I have been Pepsi free for 2 weeks now!!! That my friends is a miracle. My mom drank Pepsi while she was pregnant with me and I have been drinking it pretty much since I was in third grade. Now when I was young I was only allowed to have one once in awhile but as I reached teen years it was an everyday thing. I cannot say it has given me more energy or I feel like a million dollars without it, I don’t really notice a difference. I bet my organs and insides are thanking me. I have been wanting to quit drinking sodas for a long time and finally I have done it. I drink a lot of water or I will reach for Lipton Natural Green tea, the Passion Fruit Mango is my FAVORITE. Yum! I don’t have it that often.

I’m still in school and got the shock of my life. My academic advisor called me a few days ago to talk about my next block of classes. I will be finished with these classes in a week in a half I believe. We were talking about when I will graduate and he told me June 8, 14. HUH say what? I thought I was going to be in school 2 1/2 years, not a year in a half? I transferred over two classes so that freed up 9 weeks for me. So next year is a huge graduation time for my family. Listen to this: My daughter graduates high school June 1, I have to fly out to AZ to graduate June 8, get home and then my son graduates from 8th grade I hope June 10. OMG that is a lot of graduations. My poor mom has to fly here, fly back home (AZ), then fly back here and then back to AZ. She thinks she should own a private jet. I totally agree lol. I am trying to have a combined party but my daughter is not even hearing it. She might have to cave because my mom needs to be here so she can party with us.

I don’t think I shared we put our son in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu back in January. He has a girlfriend (just friends)that he goes to school with that is also in it. Let me tell you if anyone has a son out there that needs to get their energy out, that is a fantastic thing to get into. Ben and Thiago are fabulous! Thiago teaches the BJJ Gi and no Gi classes. This young man has trained under Rickson Gracie I believe. In fact Rickson was just in Schaumburg a month ago for a seminar. I know Thaigo and his brother Luis love Rickson and his teachings so much. Anyway….Thiago is great with my son. My son has dyslexia and had terrible coordination. When he first started BJJ it was apparent. Thiago helped me to slow down so he could get the technique and then he could go faster. There is a huge difference in my son’s coordination. My son has always been in great physical shape because of being gluten free and I limit how much he gets. He wants a snack, he has fresh fruits and veggies, he doesn’t have to grab the cookies and chips. He does eat them but in small quantities. He had a defined body but now that he has been doing BJJ, let’s just say Thiago is jealous lol. He was telling my husband and I how shocked he was to see our son when he was in a tank top under shirt, he could see how much larger our son has gotten and more defined. He feels our son is going to be a big boy.

I see how girls look at him so I know exactly what Thiago is saying…….and I thought I had to worry about my daughters.  My son was doing only the no Gi BJJ but is now doing the Gi classes. He goes 5 days a week unless he feels his body needs a break. I also had a meeting with his teachers because of his IEP and they were just raving about my baby. One thing I do have to try to work with him is slowing down. He wants to do everything so fast that he doesn’t pay attention to the small details and then he ends up having to redo his work. That can be with school or at home. He fights me tooth and nail when I try to help him be more organized. UGH

There really is a ton more going on but I have to go grocery shopping. I am going to really try to do better with posting more. I have tried new makeup, new recipes, and other products I would love to share with you about. So till next time. Be Blessed!

Agrimony

So I was looking at my herb books and started reading about Agrimony. It’s very interesting to me to see how it has been used through out the years.

Singers and speakers have been known to gargle with a half glass of agrimony water then spit it out, it refreshes their throats before performances. If you have a sore throat from a cold or flu you can too use the gargle to get relief.

In ancient Greece, this herb was prescribed for eye complaints. Anglo saxons called agrimony garclive and used it primarily to treat wounds. In Chaucer’s time herbalists still prescribed it for wounds. They also mixed it with mugwort and vinegar to treat patients with back pain. No sedative properties have been found but should you place a spring of this herb on your pillow it’s worth a try to see if it helps you fall asleep. At the end of the 16th century, herbalists prescribed agrimony remedies for rheumatism, gout, and fevers. In the late 1800s it was used to treat digestive problems, bowel complaints, asthma, coughs, and sore throats.

Agrimony does have astringent properties and the tea has been prescribed for internal bleeding and loose bowels. Chinese herbalists have prescribed it for patients with blood cells in their urine. The zulu use it in cases of tape worm. For any of these kinds of problems you should see your physician rather than just treating yourself at home. For minor aliments teas and poultices made with agrimony can be tried and may be beneficial.  To relieve a sore throat try gargling with an infusion of agrimony. The tea has been drunk to alleviate coughs and to clear skin eruptions. To make an infusion take 3-4 teaspoons of the dried leaves with 1 cup of water. Drink a cup a day.

To heal external wounds, you might try a poultice made from the fresh leaves. The plant contains certain compounds that react with sunlight, and if a treated area is exposed to the sun a rash might develop.