End of the year ramblings

Who would think getting diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes would be a blessing? I do. I have been vegetarian since June 2017 and have been doing well. I think my body is detoxing all the years of not eating right. Once I was diagnosed with T2D (type 2 diabetes) I had to find a diabetes educator. I found Mastering Diabetes and watched all of their videos and read all of their articles. I quickly became a member so I could have support and be educated more. The owners of MD are Cyrus and Robby, both young men that have type 1 and had other health issues when first diagnosed, when they went Whole Foods Plant Based they had a lot of healing happen and they do not need as much insulin. Cyrus has a Ph.D in nutritional biochemistry and more importantly he follows his own advice to others.  So once I learned about insulin resistance even more and about WFPB I began tweaking my lifestyle again. I do take medication because I wanted to make sure my body wasn’t going to be harmed by high blood sugar but the amount has been lowered. My average BS was 232, A1C was 10, cholesterol was 198, insulin was 23.4 (yikes). I also started seeing a nutritionist close to home and everything I told her about MD she loved. The weight started falling off, I began exercising, and then it was time for my 3 month blood tests; BS average was 150, A1C was 6.4, cholesterol was 169, insulin was 8.4. HOLY moly that is awesome!!

I learned what foods make my BS go up, what makes me feel like crud, and what makes my BS lower. Let me tell you having T2D is no joke!! When my blood sugar has been too high or too low I feel awful and twice it has thrown me into a panic attack at work and thank goodness I got out of my classroom before it bad. I’m thankful I recognized the fast symptoms I was having and another teacher was right by my door so I had her go in. The second time I called the office for help and someone was there instantly. The last thing I want to do is scare my class. I have to plan my meals and I have to bring food with me wherever I go. When I had to fly back to Wisconsin because my niece passed away I had to make sure I had food for the plane ride and where I was staying.

I have lost 35 pounds so far and as of right now my BS average is 120, insulin is same, A1C is 5.8, and cholesterol is the same. I did have a hemorrhagic cyst in August that caused havoc to my body. That sucker was the size of a golf ball and painful! I had to go to half day at work (which the boss was not happy about). I had surgery in October to remove it and I am finally feeling awesome again. I am back to exercising. 

I want to make sure I am working through my grieving and that I am supporting my body as much as possible. Losing my two cats a week apart has been so hard!! It has been four weeks since Monster left and tomorrow will be three weeks Daisy left. I miss them SO much. I love the memories I have of them but life is weird without them. They were apart of my family for over 19 and 17 years. I am thankful we adopted two kitten the beginning of November. They are siblings the boy is named Chester Bennington and the girl is named Freddie Mercury. They are adorable, sweet, and naughty. Slash is having a blast with them. When Daisy and Monster were alive they also really liked them.

In my health journey I stumbled on a video on YouTube (gosh I love this site). The young lady talks about health and healing. She made a comment about eating foods that have been alive (fruits and vegetables) because how can foods with no life bring us life and healing? A good thing to think about. For today I made sure to drink my celery juice for breakfast (thank you Medical Medium) and I have not eaten any regular foods yet. I am going to try to do intermittent fasting. I have heard some really great things from people who do it.

With the New Year coming why not cleanse my body and my home? I am making a list of things to do with my body to cleanse it (food, sitting in the sunshine and when the moon is out, juices, smoothies, soups, detox baths, castor oil packs, warm oil massages, etc) and then I am making a list of what to clean and declutter in the house followed by saging it from top to bottom! I found this thing on Pinterest where you take a large mason jar and fill it with paper of good things that have made you happy or have happened to you through out the year. What a great idea, I am going to give this to my children and hope we can come together at the end of next year to see the year’s awesomeness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Saying Goodbye

When you have an animal or animals you always know the day will come where they will leave this earth. Knowing and it actually happening are two totally different things. I have had Daisy and Monster for 19 and 17 years. They have been with our family through sicknesses, moving, kids growing up, and everything else. They were our family. On November 25, we had to say goodbye to Monster. He wasn’t eating and was having gastroenteritis issues; he received a anti nausea shot and some antibiotics for the intestines. In the past when Daisy or Slash have had gastroenteritis issues that did the trick but it did not for Monster. We took him into the ER vet Sunday and immediately when they took his temperature they took him in the back (it was 94.9). They brought him back wrapped in a blanket with a heating pad. The vet and tech both said that Monster’s stomach felt mushy and they look on his face told me everything. He didn’t think Monster’s outcome was good. I think he felt it was cancer but with the way Monster was dehydrated despite drinking, the IV fluids, etc he had been through enough. We did do blood tests again (we had them done a fews days prior) and when the results came back it showed low kidney function and he was not producing red blood cells. Monster had been having issues with diarrhea and terrible smelling gas and he let one go in the office that was awful. I put some paper towels under him in case he had to go potty and I noticed blood was all around his rectum. My heart sank and I knew it was time to let him go. I knew Monster would always fight to the end to be with me and he did. It broke may heart to make that decision but I couldn’t have him suffer. I held him in my arms until the end and still held him for a bit after he left.

Daisy started having the same issues; not eating, diarrhea, and vomiting we took her to the vet quickly because she has had gastroenteritis issues over the past year. She always bounced back after the shot and antibiotics but this time she did not. She was declining fast and I knew it was the same thing that happened with Monster. So one week and two days after Monster transitioned, Daisy also transitioned from here. This time my two youngest kids were present as we held her and gave her lots of hugs and kisses goodbye. I can only hope she was greeted by Monster and Pepper.

It has been heartbreaking to come home. I always greeted each animal with hugs, kisses, and pets. I had Daisy from the time she was a kitten and Monster was a year in a half. I miss their presence, I miss their meows, I miss their begging while we ate dinner, I miss them laying on my lap, I miss Daisy sleeping on my pillow, I miss Monster sleeping next to my side. I miss them so much. I will be busy doing something and all of a sudden this wave of sadness and awful pain comes over me. It takes my breath away and I have to pause a minute to get my bearings back. I have so many pictures and awesome memories of them, I will forever celebrate what they meant to us.

Be Nice

As a teacher I always teach my class about being nice, respectful, and be understanding. Of course there is way more that I teach in the character department but the simple ones I mentioned really need to be applied to social media. A friend of mine said she needs a break from social media. I get it, it can be brutal out there! Many people need a time out!! We need to focus on what can we do to make our world a better place. That can come in the form of respecting someone’s opinion especially if it differs from your own. I get now why the Bible says be slow to anger, we need to listen to people and see where they are coming from. Does anyone seriously think that if they shove their opinions down someone’s throat in a mean way that it will get that other person to open their minds or consider their view? So just be nice!

 

Good Morning :)

I have finally applied for my diploma (who would have thought after graduating I would have to apply and pay $150) and I am registered to take the professional knowledge state test Feb 10. Pray for me, send positive vibes, whatever you do I need all the positivity I can get! I have the study guide and they recommend studying two hours a day. That is totally do able. I love teaching I really do but I can’t help that I have other thoughts swarming my head. What thoughts you ask? Thoughts of giving young children holistic teaching and learning so they have a solid foundation when they enter kindergarten. I have been in the preschool environment for 14 years so maybe it is habit? But I have always wanted to have a house with a decent amount of land so I can have an addition on my house or a preschool, a garden, small farm, and a wonderful place for the children to play. I am very eclectic in my teaching philosophies. I love the different theories because they can work together and provide the best environment for a child to learn and grow. I have always loved Howard Gardner and Abraham Maslow’s theories. I think our education system needs to take a step back and see what we have done to the classrooms and see where we can change it for the better.

The things learned in preschool/prek will help a child when they are in elementary school. For example, if a teacher has a sorting activity it helps the child learn how to classify objects. That is something that is needed as they are in school. I hear a lot of teacher say how the fine motor skills in their students are very poor. In preschool the children should be doing many activities that strengthen the fine motor skills. The reason I want a preschool addition on my house is because it creates a homey feel, the land is important for the children to learn, explore, and discover. They need to be out in nature! If there are animals around they can learn so much (they would not be allowed by them without supervision). Think of all the great things they would learn by planting food and flower gardens! Then to take the food and make yummy food with it or make beautiful flowers arrangements in the school.

This is my struggle. I am not financially ready to take on such endeavors but I’ve had that dream in my head and heart for a long time.

I joined Forks Over Knives meal planner and I am so happy I did because it really helps me. I made a menu for the whole month for myself and the rest of the family. I found a recipe on SkinnyTaste.com quinoa enchilada casserole OMG ya’ll it was so good!! I over course add to it because I just like to put more flavor in my food but it made a lot of food for me. I had it for lunch the next day and I still have plenty. I am hoping my family will come on board with this healthy lifestyle.

Man.
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.

– The 14th Dalai Lama

Do you make new year resolutions? Do you reflect on the year and figure out how to do better, be better, and what you are grateful for? I saw the above quote and I just sat there and thought about it. I have been all about bettering my health and wellness as well as making a better life for me and my family. It also made me think of a conversation I had recently with my oldest daughter. She has gained weight and her self esteem is pretty low.  There is a young man that she has been talking to online for awhile now and she is chicken to meet him (she is not social like her mama that is for sure). She is even more afraid to meet him after the weight gain. I told her to stop putting her life on hold she is going to be 28 years old and she needs to live and have fun now. I warned her to be careful or she will look back on her 20s and regret not living her life.

One good thing is she is in school so that will contribute to a goal she has. When I ask her what are some things she enjoys to do, she said she doesn’t even know anymore. She feels like the things she enjoyed doing years ago she doesn’t now. I told her that is the fun of life interests change and that is ok. I asked her what does she want out of life? what does she want to learn? where does she want to go? I found some journal prompts on Pinterest so I emailed them to her and told her to answer the questions and go from there.

The one thing I have been tired of saying is we can’t afford to do…….

Now that I am not in school anymore I feel like I can get back to living life and I need to figure out what I want to learn next. Lots of thinking and journaling to do!

ta ta my friends

Crazy week

So my poor cat Monster broke his leg Wednesday. He went into my bedroom or bathroom and a few minutes later he came out to me and I noticed he was limping. When I looked closer at his rear left leg it was floppy. I called my vet and they couldn’t get him in until 5pm. The more I watched Monster the more I knew I couldn’t make him wait that long to be seen. I had my son help me get the carrier and Monster in it, we then picked my mom up and headed to the emergency animal hospital. We were there for 5 hours there was like 3 critical patients before us. The x-rays showed Monster broke his femur and it was very close to the hip bones. I contacted my vet and sent over the x-rays so the orthopedic dr could look it over. The receptionist called back saying the dr isn’t comfortable with operating on Monster since he is 18 and thinks a specialist is the best route to go. So we went to the specialist yesterday and they had Monster in surgery by 11:30. They did have to amputate the leg because of the risk of problems and the amount of repair it would take. The dr was saying that the bone could have cancer or an infection which would mean amputating anyway. Monster did very well during surgery and he is finally home. I picked him up at 8:30 this morning. I have to keep him in a large carrier so he can rest and heal. They don’t want him really doing anything for the next 2 weeks. I will have to clean the carrier out so I will have my hubby hold Monster while I do that. As long as Monster just walks around in my bedroom without trying to jump on anything that would be ok too.

I have always been an animal lover and had to everything I could to make life better for him. I am so thankful that he is so healthy. I didn’t get the bone biopsied but the dr thinks it was an infection and gave him an antibiotic. Needless to say I am relieved he is doing so well but there is a lot of work in his care. I have to give him cold compresses three times a day then in a few days switch to warm compresses, cleaning the litter box after each use while he is in the carrier, clean the bedding each day, etc etc. The animal hospital forgot to give us the e collar that Monster is supposed to have on so he can’t mess with the incision. I was not about to drive one way 30 minutes so we just went to our vet and got him one. I will put it on at night and when we are not home. So far he doesn’t even mess act like he knows he has an incision.

Since I have been keeping a food journal and any affects I am really starting to see what I am going to have to eliminate from my diet. Dairy, gluten, and corn are the biggest ones so far. I made myself healthy nachos for lunch and I have been fatigued since I finished them. UGH….so no tortilla chips or dairy cheese.

Well time for me to get dinner started. ta ta for now

 

Merry Christmas

I am officially finished with school!!! I am done with classes, student teaching, and all that fun stuff, I have graduated. I am so proud of myself. Five years ago I decided to go to school and get my degree. It was a goal that challenged me and stretched me to my capacity at times but I did it!!! When I was doing my student teaching I struggled a bit with matching the standards and learning goal. I see all these cute writing activities on Pinterest but I had to really think about what is the learning goal and does it match the standards. My mentor teacher and field supervisor wanted me to do more lesson planning so I could get the practice in. There was one lesson that I was struggling with the anticipatory set. Have you ever been so tired and stressed that something so simple escapes your mind? That was me. I had asked my mentor teacher for some help and instead of being supportive and helpful like she said she would be, she tells me I will have to struggle through it. I laughed and told her I was so tired and stressed it was taking me longer to “get it”. She said we all get stressed and I cut her off. I am 46 years old with 3 children, 2 marriages under my belt (the second much better but still), sicknesses, mental illness, suicide attempts, etc I have struggled through plenty!!! What I do need is that mentor that is supportive and gives tips on what worked for her when she was struggling. She then asked me what would I do if she wasn’t there? I told her honestly I would ask my other teacher friend. I learn better by talking things out, shown and told examples, and seeing it done.

That was disappointing. I understand this was her first time mentoring a student teacher and I asked her would she say such a thing to a student if they weren’t understanding something? If she does then that is terrible because that is not how it should be done!

We did get through it and it was awesome that we both learned new things from each other. I have been in preschool for 14 years so I did bring some good ideas to the classroom. Just because someone has been teaching for a long time doesn’t mean something can’t inspire you to try new things. When my mentor and I talked about the class and how we could help certain students it was so much fun because we love the kids. The principal wants my resume so I have to get that updated.

A few days before I was done with student teaching my stomach was cramping, bloating, and just feeling awful. Each day everything got worse. On my last day of ST (student teaching) I went to the urgent care. They noticed I had sugar in my urine and then tested my blood sugars 196….holy shit! So they send me to the ER because I need imaging done. I get to the ER and they take blood, do a CT scan on me. I have diverticulitis and my sugars went up to 208. WHAAAAAT? I hadn’t eaten since 12:15 and it was 6:00. They put me on cipro and flagyl. What is going on with me I have never been so sick in my life. Two days after I was on the meds I started with a fever and feeling like death. The next day I vomited so I stopped the meds. I started doing better each day I was off and then bam…..ladies you know what can happen when on high doses of antibiotics…..So probiotics, juices, essential oils, and hot showers.

This was not how I planned to spend my 2 weeks off. However, I am very thankful that this happened now then even two weeks ago because it would have messed up my ST. For the past 3 days I have been getting my house cleaned, organized, and trying to put pictures up. It’s sad that we’ve been in the house over a year and I don’t have pictures up! I have made it my mission to get pictures up, curtains, rugs, and make my home feel homey! The hubby and I purchased a few rugs so it isn’t so cold on feet and paws. I need to see how I can incorporate some healing color in the house!

I am also planning on going to this place that has infrared saunas that I can do some sessions and get my body detoxing. I figured I would take January to get my body cleansed and study for my state test. Juices, smoothies, healthy meals, walking in nature, sitting in the sun, drinking waters and teas, and meditation.

My girls are out of state visiting their dad’s side of the family. I am so happy my youngest daughter is finally talking to her dad again. When she got to her dad’s she started texting me about her anxiety. She doesn’t have any medication and I forgot to give her the essential oils I have blended for her. Her sleep patterns have been really off and I figured it was because she was thinking about her little vacation. I’m happy her sister is with her but she too lately has been in a depression. The oldest has always dealt with depression but she won’t go to therapy. It is so hard to have children that deal with mental illness! When things have been crazy at the house with work and school I had to rely on my husband and son for help. The girls could have helped but instead they stayed in their bedrooms. It’s one thing to deal with depression but it’s another thing to have a shitty attitude that you don’t want to help your own mother when she needs it! Especially being  a grown adult living at home for free and being supported. The oldest just started the vet tech program. She graduated from the assistant program and was off for 6 weeks. She hasn’t worked since August and throws a fit if she is asked to help clean the kitchen.

Has anyone watched the documentary 32Pills? OMG that was such a touching movie! It hit home in so many ways. When the therapist told Hope that a person with borderline never feels fulfilled and that they spend a lifetime trying to get fulfilled that broke my heart because I now this is true for my youngest daughter. The therapist also mentioned medication alone doesn’t help bpd, going to therapy is important. I am hoping YD (youngest daughter) will keep her appointment for this new therapist. She can get better but she has to go in order for that to happen.

Merry Christmas and I hope you are blessed today!!