Merry Christmas

I am officially finished with school!!! I am done with classes, student teaching, and all that fun stuff, I have graduated. I am so proud of myself. Five years ago I decided to go to school and get my degree. It was a goal that challenged me and stretched me to my capacity at times but I did it!!! When I was doing my student teaching I struggled a bit with matching the standards and learning goal. I see all these cute writing activities on Pinterest but I had to really think about what is the learning goal and does it match the standards. My mentor teacher and field supervisor wanted me to do more lesson planning so I could get the practice in. There was one lesson that I was struggling with the anticipatory set. Have you ever been so tired and stressed that something so simple escapes your mind? That was me. I had asked my mentor teacher for some help and instead of being supportive and helpful like she said she would be, she tells me I will have to struggle through it. I laughed and told her I was so tired and stressed it was taking me longer to “get it”. She said we all get stressed and I cut her off. I am 46 years old with 3 children, 2 marriages under my belt (the second much better but still), sicknesses, mental illness, suicide attempts, etc I have struggled through plenty!!! What I do need is that mentor that is supportive and gives tips on what worked for her when she was struggling. She then asked me what would I do if she wasn’t there? I told her honestly I would ask my other teacher friend. I learn better by talking things out, shown and told examples, and seeing it done.

That was disappointing. I understand this was her first time mentoring a student teacher and I asked her would she say such a thing to a student if they weren’t understanding something? If she does then that is terrible because that is not how it should be done!

We did get through it and it was awesome that we both learned new things from each other. I have been in preschool for 14 years so I did bring some good ideas to the classroom. Just because someone has been teaching for a long time doesn’t mean something can’t inspire you to try new things. When my mentor and I talked about the class and how we could help certain students it was so much fun because we love the kids. The principal wants my resume so I have to get that updated.

A few days before I was done with student teaching my stomach was cramping, bloating, and just feeling awful. Each day everything got worse. On my last day of ST (student teaching) I went to the urgent care. They noticed I had sugar in my urine and then tested my blood sugars 196….holy shit! So they send me to the ER because I need imaging done. I get to the ER and they take blood, do a CT scan on me. I have diverticulitis and my sugars went up to 208. WHAAAAAT? I hadn’t eaten since 12:15 and it was 6:00. They put me on cipro and flagyl. What is going on with me I have never been so sick in my life. Two days after I was on the meds I started with a fever and feeling like death. The next day I vomited so I stopped the meds. I started doing better each day I was off and then bam…..ladies you know what can happen when on high doses of antibiotics…..So probiotics, juices, essential oils, and hot showers.

This was not how I planned to spend my 2 weeks off. However, I am very thankful that this happened now then even two weeks ago because it would have messed up my ST. For the past 3 days I have been getting my house cleaned, organized, and trying to put pictures up. It’s sad that we’ve been in the house over a year and I don’t have pictures up! I have made it my mission to get pictures up, curtains, rugs, and make my home feel homey! The hubby and I purchased a few rugs so it isn’t so cold on feet and paws. I need to see how I can incorporate some healing color in the house!

I am also planning on going to this place that has infrared saunas that I can do some sessions and get my body detoxing. I figured I would take January to get my body cleansed and study for my state test. Juices, smoothies, healthy meals, walking in nature, sitting in the sun, drinking waters and teas, and meditation.

My girls are out of state visiting their dad’s side of the family. I am so happy my youngest daughter is finally talking to her dad again. When she got to her dad’s she started texting me about her anxiety. She doesn’t have any medication and I forgot to give her the essential oils I have blended for her. Her sleep patterns have been really off and I figured it was because she was thinking about her little vacation. I’m happy her sister is with her but she too lately has been in a depression. The oldest has always dealt with depression but she won’t go to therapy. It is so hard to have children that deal with mental illness! When things have been crazy at the house with work and school I had to rely on my husband and son for help. The girls could have helped but instead they stayed in their bedrooms. It’s one thing to deal with depression but it’s another thing to have a shitty attitude that you don’t want to help your own mother when she needs it! Especially being  a grown adult living at home for free and being supported. The oldest just started the vet tech program. She graduated from the assistant program and was off for 6 weeks. She hasn’t worked since August and throws a fit if she is asked to help clean the kitchen.

Has anyone watched the documentary 32Pills? OMG that was such a touching movie! It hit home in so many ways. When the therapist told Hope that a person with borderline never feels fulfilled and that they spend a lifetime trying to get fulfilled that broke my heart because I now this is true for my youngest daughter. The therapist also mentioned medication alone doesn’t help bpd, going to therapy is important. I am hoping YD (youngest daughter) will keep her appointment for this new therapist. She can get better but she has to go in order for that to happen.

Merry Christmas and I hope you are blessed today!!

 

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