I just watched a documentary titled India’s Daughter. It was about the gang rape and murder of a young woman in December 2012. The way some people view a woman is heartbreaking and disgusting. How is it women have been treated so poorly for thousands of years? I realized today that I am very blessed to have been born when and where I did. I have not had an easy life but I like to look at the blessings I have do whatever I can to do and be better. How do we change this behavior against women? I fully believe when we are born we have a purpose to fulfill, I couldn’t help but wonder if this woman’s purpose was to help change happen? Why does it take so many people to suffer to get people to do something to change it? I have so many emotions running through me it’s hard to process it all. I hurt for the woman’s parents who lost their daughter and are left behind trying to life their lives and get over such pain. I have words of Jesus, Gandhi, Maya Angelou, Buddha, Ram Dass, and others about love. How we need to do it and apply it more to every area of our lives. Here is the link to the documentary India’s Daughter. Watch it and you will understand why I am a bundle of emotions. Maybe you can help answer, how do we change it?
My last post was about my daughter’s depression. Two weeks after her first suicide attempt she tried again. This time she came very very close to succeeding. I received a phone call from the hospital nurse telling me she was calling on behalf of my daughter and why she was there. Numbness overcame my whole body and the tears just flowed nonstop. I tried to talk to my daughter but she couldn’t talk. I asked to have the hospital psychologist call me, I had some questions for her. I was trying to find my daughter’s crisis case worker and after speaking to three different people finally I get a phone call and she says I think you are trying to find me. Hallelujah it was her!!! I explained the situation and I knew she couldn’t talk to me without my daughter’s written consent but I did all the talking and she told me what she could. I just wanted to know how I could get my daughter out of that state and in my care. My prayers were answered!! My daughter was staying at her friend’s house with the dad and brother. The dad told my daughter she was not able to stay there any longer that she had to get help. I explained this to the crisis center worker and the hospital psychologist. They told my daughter the situation and they told her she needed to go back home with her family who is more than willing to love and support her. I was on a plane the next day to go to the hospital. I slept there and we talked a lot. I was careful about what I said to my daughter and she was finally aware that she needed to get some serious help. I think this was a huge wake up call for her and it scared her that she was almost dead. She did tell me at first she was mad she was still alive but when I walked into her hospital room she was glad she was still alive.
When we got home we got her into a treatment facility and she is now home. She has a psychologist and therapist one that also deals with PTSD/Trauma. The medication she is on is really helping and I am so thankful for that. I told my daughter she needs to be gentle with herself and take one step at a time and things will get better. She is afraid she will deal with severe depression for the rest of her life. If that is the case we will deal with it, she will never be alone.
I think I was going through life the past month on auto pilot. I had to disconnect myself down in away in order to not break down. I allow myself to feel the pain and the stress but I have to do it in a way that I don’t overload myself. I discussed this with a social worker friend of mine and she totally understood what I was saying.
We all struggle and go through troubles. We need to remember and realize that we are connected and what happened to one happens to all. My daughter’s depression affects many not just herself. This beautiful woman who was raped and murdered in India has affected so many. We might not know her but she has opened my eyes to the terrible treatment women still go through, I feel pain for her pain, I pray for her family and friends left behind, and I wonder what can I do.
One thing I can do is make sure my attitude is right, that I am helping whenever and wherever I can, and that I give more love than anything else. I will be looking at what more can I do.