Cousin Dave

I could hear the phone ringing and my caller ID said who it was….Shane!?!?!? I answer the phone and he asks me how’s it going, I immediately know something is wrong. Shane and I are cousins but have been like sister and brother since we were born. He tells me he’s at the hospital with Dave and it’s not looking good. He explains that Dave has coded twice and resuscitated but was down for 20 minutes one of the times. It’s not looking good. Dave is stubborn and that should be in all caps!! He has had health issues for many years, didn’t take care of himself, or listen to the Dr.. There was a time three in a half years ago he was knocking on death’s door, no one thought he would make it. Dave once again showed us how stubborn he was. So I was wondering if maybe he would do it again? I asked Shane to keep me posted until I could get there. Right before I left I text him and asked how things are going and he said Dave just went into cardiac arrest again. UGH I have a 45 minute drive and it’s 6:00pm traffic.

As I got off the elevator the first thing I see is Shane sitting on the couch in the ICU waiting area. He’s just shaking his head saying; he’s not going to pull through this time. On my way to the hospital Dave went into cardiac arrest again, this time they did not resuscitate him. Dave also had really bad pneumonia and other things wrong. So I head into the room and Dave’s sister Cheri is there crying. Now my poor cousin Cheri just lost her youngest daughter March 6, 2014 and now she’s losing her baby brother. I’m worried about her I hear it in her cries. absolute heartbreaking!!! Damn I didn’t wear my waterproof mascara today…that’s ok the tissue will keep me from looking like a racoon. The room was filled with my family.

Shane has two children with my best friend and the boys live up here with Shane while my bff is in Florida. Seeing the boys makes me miss and want my bff!! I make my way over to Shane and hug him. He too has had now another big loss in less than a year. I cannot imagine losing a sister and now an uncle (Shane is Cheri’s son, him and I are first cousins once removed). I hold Dave’s hand and stroke his arm but he’s gone already. Superman decided to not be stubborn this time :(. Is this real? Did Aunt Stella (his mom) come help him on his journey? Was he greeted by other family members? Questions and memories swarm my head. My heart hurts. I tell myself we all have a time to go but would his have been longer if he wasn’t so stubborn? Then I see Dave’s son omg pain in my heart…I hurt for them, they just lost their dad. Lil Davey especially he was good to his dad and loved him so much.

I stayed awhile longer for my family to hug them and tell stories about Dave. Then with my hubby and son we make our way home. I’m numb, I’m sad. I think about all these family members on my dad’s side that have passed so young. It all boils down to not taking care of themselves.

I went to bed last night but kept waking up and wondering if this was all real, then my heart hurting let me know it was. I was to mourn his loss but celebrate him and his life. There are a lot of memories and stories to keep celebrating him. Will Cheri ever feel this way or will she just feel loss and heartache?

And here is Monster cat being adamant about wanting to lay on my lap while I try to type this out…..another stubborn one.

I am once again reminded of the importance of family. I couldn’t imagine my life without mine. As big as it is I love each and everyone of them. I am also reminded to take as best of care of my body as possible.

Words have left my brain, I feel numb. I’m sad

If you’re reading this, I wish you a blessed day!

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