Fun then heartbreak

Went camping for the first time in like YEARS (25 yrs)! We had a blast, the kids loved it too. We slept in a tent during a thunderstorm, somehow the top of the tent wasn’t put on right so we had some leaking, we don’t live far from where we camping so we went home till the rain stopped. We went back and cleaned the tent up and put the top on the correct way. Live and learn LOL. We were camping with my brother in law and his family and then 2 other families. Needless to say I am hooked and want to do it way more. We are invited to go with on Labor day. We have to get things together, how exciting. The kids ran around swimming, playing with other kids, making s’mores, etc. Being out in nature made all of us so relaxed and rejuvenated.

After having a great weekend, I come home yesterday and notice my son’s email was opened and yes I looked at it. He’s 12 years old and he needs monitoring. HOLY MOLY!!! I know he’s curious and he’s hormonal as heck but for him to go to some of these sites mad my heart sick. I was furious, then I was heartbroken and cried,  I calmed down and then asked the hubby if he could get out of work early so we could have a talk with him. I seen the past 13 years of my life pass by me, I have seen sex addiction first hand and the thought of my son following suit breaks my heart. I guess the sins of the father passing down to generations is true.

I’m making sure I’m talking to him but more importantly dad needs to spend time with him. I worry about that because my husband doesn’t know how to live his life much less have talks to about life skills. UGH I feel sick. Funny thing is I’m reading a book called Conversations with the wise uncle. I’m going to be having my son read it too and we’ll discuss what we’ve read.

Well I have to finish dinner, it’s spaghetti tonight. One more week till my oldest is back here!! Blessings to all

It’s Friday!!! :)

I didn’t get much sleep last night 😦 the wind was making the blinds move a lot so that was noisy, then I was hot, plus I wasn’t too happy with hubby so that doesn’t make for a good nights rest. I have to work late today so I’m hoping I won’t be tired. I plan on walking during my lunch. A monster coffee sounds really yummy about now especially over a bunch of ice. Did I mention before my oldest daughter is moving back home? Well she is and I can’t wait!!! She is trying to transfer to a store that is here, I’m sure hoping and praying she is able too. That will make things a ton easier for us all. The girls are complaining that they have to share a room, they feel they are too old for that. Seriously? Really? Neither one of them can share with their brother especially now that he is going through puberty so suck it up girls LOL :). My best friend is also moving back from Florida. I’m excited because I would love to be able to go out with her and have girl time. She is a nut to say the least!

 

I’m really struggling hard with my hubby. I find anger, frustration, and even hurt keep building. I don’t know what to do anymore. I know the issues he’s dealing with are going to take time but yet I can’t shake the feeling that maybe he really doesn’t want us? I’ve always been one to say Actions speak louder than words and I’m just not seeing any action. It’s pretty sad when you put more time and effort into fantasy football than you do your own marriage. I used to try to be the one to initiate but I’m just plum tired of carrying a relationship. I was asked by my friend if I felt safe with H? I said no

Would he ever hit me, uh no, not if he’s smart! From reading about this addiction it’s very normal for the spouse to not feel safe. I’ve felt that way for so long I want and need more. I’m trying to be supportive, he says he’s trying and I want to say how? going to a counselor once every two weeks? What about meetings? what about caring for your health? what about a lot of things. I see NOTHING from him but waking up, maybe doing some dishes……………Oh I’m going to stop right now. I need to just have a pity party for a bit and then go on. However the thing that keeps coming up is I need more. I’m lonely, hell I want a better sex life!

Gotta finish getting ready for work. Just needed to vent….thanks

Be blessed today

On to #2 book

Ok so I couldn’t put 50 Shades of Grey down!! I loved the book, in all honesty there were parts in there that I could’ve been Ana, esp when Christian says to her “What you do to me”. I could feel the emotional roller coaster Miss Ana was going on! I could totally tell Mr. Christian was a broken spirit and just needed that one woman that could challenge him and make him take a chance on life. The ending had me screaming Noooooooooooooooo. The second book picks right up from the ending and this book too has me sucked in! I also have to say the sex between these two is totally hot!