50 Shades of Grey

I got the book and downloaded it on my kindle, I started reading yesterday at 12pm, I didn’t put it down until 9:30 pm. When people have said the book sucks you in, it’s so true!

I started to see the weakness of this handsome Christian right away and as the book goes on I’m proved right :). I’m almost done so I will post more when I all done and downloaded the second book 🙂



I bought L’Oreal’s voluminous mascara a few days ago


I’m really not liking the way it goes on my lashes, it seems to go on thick and then it clumps. There were many times I would take the pull the wand out and it was caked with mascara at the top of the brush and would have to wipe it off.

I’ve been using Maybelline’s Full and Soft


I like this much better, it goes on smooth and doesn’t clump my lashes. There have been a few times the mascara will have extra on the top of the brush when pulling the wand out but not so much that I have to clean it off before I can use it.

Kids and stress

I was taking a course called chaotic to calm, managing stress in the classroom. As I was reading it I could see how more and more being a preschool teacher I REALLY do make a huge difference in their lives. Sometimes coming to my room is the routine and organization they need so badly to help them feel not so stress out.  I absolutely love the fact that I can help them and have a lot of fun at the same time. Here are some great ideas to help children let out their stress, also great for too much energy 🙂

Have an area where the child can get away from a group at times. Make a cozy area where a child can go calm down, regroup, or reflect. I have the chair cushions in the reading area and a few large floor pillows.  Provide soft music at intervals during the day.  Have the children play outside ideally twice a day, give simple variety of choices of activities however, the stress child may need a little help deciding. Sand and water is a good calming play as well as a creative way to express themselves along with painting, coloring, making collages, play dough, cutting, gluing

Routine, rest, and nutrition will also help a child through a stressful time. I noticed they need some extra hugs and reassurance through out the day. Who doesn’t want to see the smile on a child’s face after you’ve given them a big hug? 🙂  Read books to children like: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst, Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert, Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown

Let’s not forget the whole class can do meditation and yoga to help calm themselves down





beans beans beans

Nothing like waking up at 4:30 am to a painful sinus headache 😦 NOT good. I did some training for continuing education, I only did one part of a 5 part course:(. I wanted to get that finished this morning but the headache had other plans. It’s starting to subside and reading will just make it worse, so I’ll wait.

Who would think that dried pinto beans could be so much fun. I a tray out with a medium sized bowl, filled it half way, added a smaller bowl and spoon. The kids would sit there and scoop the bean from one bowl to the next for a bit, then they would use their hands to do it, then they poured from one bowl to the next. I love the look on their faces when they are concentrating so much on a task. I have some empty powerade bottles that I’ll be bringing in for them to fill up and dump out the beans. See how they like that.

I filled my sensory table full of easter grass and put dinosaurs in it. The kids LOVED the idea, they are also very good about making sure they clean up any grass that falls on the floor.

I’m also trying to get things together for the summer, I’ll have a new set of children :(:(. That is the worst part of my job is when they go to another room. I’ve met some great people in my 4 years at this center. I’ve kinda been having an itch to do it out of my home again. My assistant said she would do it with me in a heartbeat. It is so tempting but I have to get a house first lol and I like getting out of work before my kids and hubby come home. I’m able to get a lot done around the house, errands taken care of, dr. appointments, etc and not have it interfere with family time. Having it out of my home means 6am-6pm. That part doesn’t appeal to me

Lots of random thoughts

Tsk tsk, it’s been a month since my last post. I have moments where I am so busy I don’t get on the computer much or if I am it’s work related OR I even have moments where I just don’t want to think.

Don’t want to think about the addiction my husband has and how it’s affected me for 12 years. Funny thing is I’m just now realizing it is addiction. We found a therapist that specializes with addiction and it’s great to finally think we might actually get through this! The therapist gave us a dvd to watch so we can understand sex addiction a bit more, she was right, Patrick Carnes is amazing!  It also opened my eyes to my own family and my husband’s. Just because a family has a drug or alcohol addiction doesn’t mean the kids will have it they can also have other types of addictions like shopping, gambling, sex, etc. Dr Carnes went into detail about what happens in the brain when trauma happens. So interesting!

I’ve been reading a book on spouse’s of a sex addict. One thing I realized is my husband’s is more of a cyber addiction and thank goodness it’s not as severe as many many people’s out there. I’m not saying that to down grade the addiction, I’m looking at the positives. If he had been at a high level with the addiction I don’t think I could have gotten past it. Smart phones are a wonderful thing and yet they are my worst nightmare, that’s where he gets into trouble. I always find out when he’s been on a chat app or whatever. My intuition kicks in right away and I also notice a change in him. I used to check the computer a lot 5-7 years ago, I had spyware on the computer but that was also because of having kids going on the internet too. Then I just backed off and let it go. I check only if I get that feeling. One other great thing is, there are many times if he slips up he does talk to  me about it.

I was on the website the sedona method and read about sex addiction and that’s where I was like whoa, that’s my hubby! I had him read it and the light bulb went on in his head too. I’m hoping he is at a place of wanting recovery and wanting to heal his life. I’ve been dealing with this in some way or shape for 13 years, I’m done! I love him but I need and want more in my marriage. Sad thing is I see the same issues with my ex hubby. Only reason I would be concerned is because of my daughter spending time with him, not that he would ever do anything to her. It’s more, she’s already seen him on a porn site and hurry up and minimizes the screen. Now that he is single again he is on dating sites and texting “whores” all the time according to my upset daughter. She wants to spend time with him but he’s too busy texting. I won’t even go into anymore with the ex…

A few days ago a friend I’ve known since 1983 passed away, she had some type of lukemia. She was diagnosed with it almost 2 years ago and now she isn’t suffering anymore. She leaves behind a husband and two small children. My heart just aches for the whole family. Then it makes me realize how short life can be, how precious it is. I look back on my life and I feel like if I had to put my life on a painting it would be filled with my family and children, job, friends, but what else?  I want to look back on my life and see I made a difference, I had fun, I loved life and lived it to the best I could. I didn’t just exist!!

In the past 10 months 6 people have passed away, 3 from cancer, 1 from another sickness, 2 from xanax,  and 1 from playing russian roulette :(. 2 people were in their young 40s, 3 30s, 1 26. Seriously? Their lives were cut so short. Young children left behind, a mother devastated that her son took his life and is left with that heartache a niece who won’t have children with him, grow old with him, etc. UGH!!!

If we make a contract with God before we are born I want to know what it is I’m supposed to learn and do. I hope and pray I live well into my 80s and have some great stories to tell my grandchildren! I don’t feel like I’m on the right path just yet. Ok different subject

So here I’ve been up since 5am, I love when it’s just me awake and I get the whole house to myself, it’s so quiet. When the sun comes up I open the blinds and let in the light. The sunshine gets me motivated to get the day started. Coffee in the background brewing. It’s funny how that scenario brings back some fond children memories. My grandma was an early riser and had the coffee going. If I look back on the many get togethers I’ve had with my family over the years I can honestly I remember so much laughter happening. I find my sisters and I do the same things. When I was on the phone with my oldest daughter last night I was telling her how whenever we get together with Aunt L I always come home with my cheeks sore from smiling and laughing so much. Laughter is good medicine!  My daughter is 22 and trying to go to college so she’s in a different state with my mom :(. She is at the point where she’s not sure she wants to be a vet but not sure what she should do. I told her I’ve always felt she should work with animals, been that way since she was very young. In all honesty I’m hoping she decides to go to school back here with me. I want her closer. I love having “dates” with my kids :). I know it’s being selfish but hey I love being around my babies!

Family family family family it’s what I love and means so much to me.

Today I’m going to be doing a bunch of baking so that way my son has his gluten free snacks and breakfasts this week. I’m debating if I should go workout now or wait so I can have the hubby and son with me? I’ve been doing really well with making sure I exercise, eating healthier, and taking my millions of supplements. I do feel a big difference and I love it :).  The schools around here don’t have gym everyday, I think my son is taking it this quarter……quarter? really? that’s it? Then we wonder why these poor children are dancing in their seats in class. Boys are full of energy that they need to get rid of by running and exercising. I signed my son up for a class at the gym I go to, it does cardio and some weight training. It’s only 45 minutes once a week so the other days I have him come with me walking or working out. One time I was able to use it as a punishment lol. He got in trouble for something so I told him instead of playing xbox he had to come work his buns with me, he complained at first but then was chatting my ear off. Truth is I enjoy when he works out with me. And as far as the xbox, yea that is something I don’t allow him to be on that much. He has to earn his xbox, tv, or computer time. In fact yesterday I had the tv off all day, he spent much of his time outside playing like he should!! He came in with a little sunburn on his forehead and ears. Guess he got some good vitamin D :). Don’t worry I’ll lather him up with some sunscreen after he’s been out for 15 minutes without it. I love using Aubrey’s organic sunscreen!

I suppose I need to put my thoughts in the back of my mind and get things going. Have a blessed day

Till next time